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Things I've Forgotten

by I'll be You

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1.
This is my last and final sober thought. Before I'm taught the meaning it doesn't have October ought. And I guard it quite well. If I have a secret I'm sure you can't tell. This is more than it was meant to be all the different faces all the irony. All the things that have become me. I might be lucky, all the plans I've made so far have went just fine. It's nothing but me subjectively parading through my time. And it owes me nothing. Thought I heard a spirit call. Realized it's behind my mind's wall. Such a strange thing, maybe we'll never quite figure it out. Will my conscious leave me once I'm dead? Is this biology or something outside my head?
2.
I said I didn't ever want you to leave. Your car-gone. Your phone-off. I fell through the weeks of Fall like a leaf. From the sky to the ground. And underneath your fleeting feet I crawled. The wind blew me always on the path you walked. I followed you. I tried so hard to make it what I wanted too. But seasons change... But I came out ok, on the other side of Summer. I learned from my mistakes. But I just can't forget the Fall.
3.
You're not sure that what you have is really yours. You're pacing back and forth. The kitchen seems to be the best place for unstable hands and feet that don't know where to take you. From your room to the garage back to your room. I got blood on my feet. You can't see it though, it's underneath. I've got skin beneath my bones. 'Cause it's cold in this house and on my bed a body's breathing out. I'm trapped, I'm free, I'm alone. So go find it. Go find what makes you doubt. And you'll know you're in the right place when you can't figure it out. But hold on. Hold on to it. In the end it's what makes your life important
4.
There's no music anymore/ This poem will not make the score/ If it gets lucky I might mumble it behind a guitar/ because this life holds nothing in high regard/ There's a feeling inside of me/ It's contained like the sea/ It's waves crash between islands of memory/ But when the ocean proves it's name, it floods the land. It calls out to the rain, and the wind's command. It contrasts me and you to see the things we do. And proves that (that) conflict is why we exist; to show that our free will is not a waste of time; and that I am not a brain, I am a mind. I'm not looking for a reason to explain. I'm not looking for a heart inside of me. I'm not looking for a person anymore. I'm just waiting for my grave to decay.
5.
Why did you say that you couldn't repair from the things you say I did from now back to there? Are all the problems that we both had so much better? Baby, blame it all on me. I used to try to take your side. Agree that I did you wrong. Now I'll tell you the truth, I was lying all along. This is the last song I ever tell a lie. This is the last song that I write. This is the last time I ever think about your name. You don't see me anymore. So I don't see you. You don't know me at all so I never knew you. So I am more often a something, not a someone. And you are more often a something in a song. Why did you say that you couldn't repair? Why did you say that?

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released March 10, 2011

Kurgan Waves

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I'll be You Muskegon, Michigan

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