1. |
In Circles
03:14
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It's no secret all these little lovely things don't last.
Try to smile for the trouble and the trials- all the time passed.
Lying on my back, watching the stars collapse, I couldn't be happier now.
What a relief to be shapeless for a change- in Satanic Verses.
I'm having wants where I ought to have thoughts instead. Would you care for a swim out to the Stonehenge?
Some things you can't imagine even if you try. Plug us in to our electric heroin and then hike the mountain range of hard drives.
All these little fires who spoke with Gnosis with eyes like a graveyard.
Still hoping to lose your heart to love.
Some souls so sick and mired. Some hope you notice the eyes like a graveyard, still coping with loss and love.
Masks beneath masks until suddenly the bare and bloodless skull.
Replace our minds- why not push our brains through the folds?
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2. |
A Book and Its Cover
03:09
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When we go are we aware that we're not here any more?
And where we go, is it a place of love? Is it a place at all?
Must a man suffer for loving a lover's lie?
"Lying with a phantom isn't such a bad thing."
Fallen angels or risen apes?
If there isn't an answer is a question worth asking?
Too close to focus, too distant to see-
Wake up at three AM no longer drunk, but still dizzy.
And searching for a sound, or a silence- anything to pull the cosmic trigger.
Send me off, just send me out for good.
All these words get caught between
What we say and what we really mean
Because there's no clarity at all, just endless gray.
So what's there to say? Caught by surprise every day.
I guess nothing is given away. We pay for everything.
You can't control the current/not the wind that fills your mast.
But you can control the current/in the way you view the past.
Do we see the end coming,
or does it just stop?
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3. |
Hexagram 49
03:42
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Faith for the doubters- rather not worry for the world tonight.
Doubt for the faithful- we'll never get to a place where it's all right.
Can't we dream any louder? We've still got time.
Just keep breathing, you'll be fine.
Walls of fire, every side.
Through signs I've known the noise collides.
Two for two. Now where am I?
Dissolving into circuit boards and screaming "I"
If this is a test then we've failed it.
What was it again we were trying to be?
(we're still alive)
Do we have to pick a side? Who knows.
Why was it again we were told to compete?
(at least we tried)
Who's your god? Does he win wars for you? Who forgot to wake him up? What other Forces knew of this descent away from the Mother? Karma's traded children made slaves to the Other.
Every day the pressure grows and minds move in droves. The birth and the balance, the highs and the lows. In between, it's only space seen as moving through time, and memories are made and believed then defined as the real thing,
Instead of what they are.
Isn't it amusing,
how no one knows what we are?
Or what to do
We've still got time (don't we?)
At least we tried.
Just close your eyes,
We'll sleep tonight.
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4. |
The Cosmic Giggle
04:05
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Do you feel free? What would it take, a choice or force, to be happy?
Alive in this dream, it's not what it seems to be. We're only acting.
Keep floating along-
Turning the pages. Keep telling yourself you're living through hell.
The higher the flames get the quicker you find you're still somewhat yourself.
But then in rolls the Wave.
Blurring the boundaries. The footprints you made.
All disappears in circles and mirrors making your grave.
Put up a fight, put up a fight, you can't win.
We're all gonna die someday, and that's it.
Don't pick a side, don't pick. The game's rigged.
Balance your best. We're too late to change it.
Feeling the thrill you're trapped now- a dark room.
Trying to find a snake before it finds you.
Feel like you're out; you're not- just in a new hall.
Illusions to match the backdrop of your mind's wall.
Rigid patterns change through pain.
Alone in your head. It's not bound to last long if you ask for this favor.
Wake up your dead. What are you to yourself if not some kind of savior?
Keep trying. Make the best of it.
Try to make the best of it.
And try to laugh.
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5. |
1963 and Between
04:44
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It's just a story except for when it happens to you. You see those headlights coming. Blind- stare into a future that you never knew.
This whole world's out to get you, or so it seems.
The rest of us will let you down.
Seeing yourself in people you'll never meet.
And most of them won't care to help. And that's you and I and me.
That's human irony.
What a way to be.
Lining up/seems nothing more than a coincidence.
Points connect/the trouble is time to split the infinites.
"Stay awake"/it's so easy when it isn't me.
Either way/we'll call it a lifetime of synchronicity.
I skipped rocks across the surface as you watched the waves consuming my intentions. And I didn't think too much about it.
This trip I'd started nervous, as if still docked at bay. And waiting for the onset. I wasn't sure what to expect.
And each stone I'd thrown departed like a friend I'll never see again.
11-22-11/1963
Seems safe enough my love, it seems safe enough. My love it seems safe enough. My love it's
Adding up/curving swiftly out of history.
Had enough/just can't wait to share our misery.
Stay away/there's nobody handing out the mystery.
Either way/we'll call it a lifetime of synchronicity.
It's all a contradiction. Such perfectly complete, compelling fiction and novelty. Standing in sunlight thinking "is this really me controlling or collecting these memories?"
So many different ways to go.
For every piece placed this puzzle seems to grow.
Isn't that what makes it beautiful?
And such a wonder that we never want to let it go?
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6. |
Gallows Humor
04:43
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Hanging from bridge with pockets full of bricks.
But I didn't cry for those broken promises.
Feeling like a collapsed lung, breathing what I can't.
Bleeding under water with the sharks circling around the scent.
-and when you see a landscape isn't there a piece of you you know would love to take it apart?
-I'm doing the best I can to reduce all the noise inside to something I can understand.
But it's gallows humor. Nobody plays for long. And no one's too sure if this is where they belong.
Alright, alright, alright, I'll admit I'm doing alright.
Alright, alright, alright I'll admit I'm doing just fine.
Just fine.
You win. You and you and you win. You've made your point.
You win. You and you and you and your hopelessness.
"I can't believe," is what you really mean "there's more than one way to end or change the course of a dream."
And I don't know the best way to take the weight away. And I don't know the first thing about most everything.
But I'll try to understand these lies. And I'll do my best to tell you what I find.
That is if you'll hear it. I'll bet it's most in the spirit of fun. Let's all have a laugh. Let's all pretend we know the other half, but try not to ruin the joke.
All isn't so perfect but it's not the worst it could be.
What's the point of all the sound if it only brings you down. Where's the remedy?
My friends, I love you all so much. I hope you love something too.
I know it's tough. Sometimes you're stuck. Let's all help each other through.
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7. |
The Bandaloop Doctors
04:28
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They say you never set foot in the same river twice.
And after some time stone will take the wind and water's advice.
I think we're living somewhere new now, and it's a place we've never been before. I saw them dancing in the caverns. I walked in and I felt it- fell through the floor.
The Bandaloop couldn't help me, I've got twenty three more.
If life eternal is wealthy I'd much rather be poor.
Trying to think of new ways to say the same things I have. The same things I never could. Surely it's overrated. Surely it's missed, or else misunderstood.
And what about my friends?
In this broken machine I find it hard to believe in anything at all. So I'll take my time in describing why I don't need to re-live.
"Live by the heart if you would live forever."
Breathe deep, don't be so quick to depart.
Love in every way is something to admire.
Long- don't we all, to get back to the heart?
Petals were spread down the stairs to the bedroom and there lay the beast with bouquet in its teeth, violently thrashing about, making a mess of the place it had led you. Even that old, wide-eyed snake needs to sleep.
Trying to find a new way to say goodbye to old friends. Goodbye to you once again. Maybe I'll see you someday. But I don't think it's likely, at least not in the same way.
But what if it's a joke still even more different from the one that I've got to know?
I guess you're on the inside now.
I hope to death your life was as fun on the way out.
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8. |
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I was making funny faces to feel the music. I guess you caught me in the mirror with a dress on. And I was too stoned to feel the fear or confusion. When I was writing songs you never heard the best ones.
Took a couple non-selfies in the bathroom.
Did a little internet research for the classroom.
Spent a couple weeks with a girl, no that's two. Crime went in and out a lying mouth. I didn't ask you,
so keep the judgement at the bar my friends. Most of the people change before life ends. Feed you drinks over the bar top, keep em coming. I was back behind the building, head down, voiding my stomach.
Yea, something like I went and fell asleep in a bong. lol
By the time I exhaled the ghost it was all wrong.
Something in my psyche doesn't like the way I'm writing considering the feedback, "you'll never be a free man." But I gotta jump the caterwaul. It's not a scheme, that's unnecessary worry and paranoia relapse.
"People of zee wurl, relax!" Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates, you should read that. Lyrics go out of focus for the metaphor to feed cats and somewhere I'm still tripping watching as the tree sap exits the trunk and somewhere I'm still drunk, and in another place it's summer and I'm sober finding love,
and somewhere else I'm surely needle in arm with William. In another life I did it when I heard the dog say kill him.
This is why I'm no longer asking.
Be what you want, it's all already happening.
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9. |
A Headache
04:34
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You won't think yourself to death. Don't hold your breath, you can handle more of this than you'd expect.
It's not all "this or that." Give it time you'll see both/and, what you thought you would never have.
Happiness, is happiness your goal? If so do you have it? If not, why choose to be miserable?
I know it isn't quite that simple, at least for now. But it could be. Just wait, just wait and see.
But it isn't what you expect. It doesn't come at the right time.
It'll leave in your thoughts "what's next?" if your experience is anything like mine.
You dip your quill in blood and start it out, the plot to your soul. And I'll tell you what, it might have worked if you had one of those.
I see the need to fight but won't see what's under my nose. A tongue and teeth that bite. We're barely here, we just keep them around for show.
We're wasting time. These second hands don't mind pointing back at what's behind.
It's never quite the same. Though patterns repeat you know. Change is the only way you grow.
You'll make it out of this one way or another.
Don't you quit.
You'll make it out of this one way or another.
Don't you quit.
If it's trouble you want you've come to the right place.
If it's love that you need I'm not sure where it is but it's free.
It'll come back around you know. Eventually everything new becomes old.
And all is reborn, though for certain if feared loses form.
Talking in circles, thinking it's water they're walking across. But Mother, it's not hers to save. Nothing will stay. It's all grayed and just part of the play.
Who's your god? Does he win wars for you? Forced to choose between the two. Behold the Pale Horse is you.
Says something inside,
"we won't know what we were 'til we've died."
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